In this video, Sybil discusses how clinicians and attorneys can best support clients, who have experienced abuse, navigate the legal system, particularly when Orders of Protection have been broken.  

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There are many beliefs about the power of forgiveness and the necessity to do so if you want to heal.  You might receive the advice that if you do not forgive your abuser, then it will forever eat you up inside.  The thought of forgiving the person that tore you down, gave you bruises, made you doubt your own reality, threatened to take away your children (or maybe even succeeded) and did so willfully is sickening to you.  If you are still experiencing forms of abuse even after separation, how do you forgive someone of past hurts, when they are not in the past at all?  The abuse is current.  So, is forgiveness of your abuser a mandatory part of healing?

​In my work with victims and survivors of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) and survivors of sexual abuse, forgiveness as it is typically defined does not seem to be a necessary step of the healing process.  There are two processes on your healing journey that relate to forgiveness that are truly helpful, and for the clients I have worked with an integral part of the healing process.  The first is an understanding of the abuse and your abuser.  Second, and probably holds the most power in your healing journey, is forgiveness of yourself.

You just started dating someone that seems too good to be true.  You are waiting for the shoe to drop, but it hasn’t.  Could this be the one?  It is common for everyone to start picturing their future with someone they are dating when it is going well.  The little house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog.  The perfect life.  It seems perfect, until it is not.

​Your perfect relationship and perfect partner has love bombed you.  You are no longer treated like a queen and the center of your partner’s world.  In fact you are treated worse than you can imagine. Whether you are physically abused, emotionally abused, sexually abused, financially abused or any of the other forms of abuse, the shock remains the same.  How could this happen?  You can still picture and maybe even feel the amazing start to your relationship.  “No,” you tell yourself, “my partner can change,” or “we are just going through a rough patch.”  You hold the image of your perfect life firmly in your mind.  We can still achieve this if only…