After partnering with survivors of domestic violence for over 10 years, I have heard many comments from other helping professionals expressing their frustrations in working with domestic violence, particularly in working with survivors.

Often, helping professionals ask questions or make statements with no easy answers or no clear context.

Why doesn’t my client just leave?
My client lies to me.
My client is minimizing the abuse.

These questions/statements are loaded with complexity.

When I hear comments like this, I try to look at this from a position of assuming well. I like to assume that, “This helping professional cares about the well-being of their client.” When we make statements like this, it is often out of concern for our clients. We don’t want to see them get hurt anymore. We want the best for them. We want them to be able to live a life free of emotional and physical violence.