“Based on what you have shared with me today, I am going to have to call Child Protective Services.”

​This sentence will put the fear of God into any parent’s heart.  “They are going to take my children” may be the first coherent thought after that gut-wrenching feeling.  It doesn’t matter if you have had experiences with child protective services (CPS) in the past or if you have never even known anyone who has had any contact with them before.  This sounds scary.
 
As mandated reporters, it is our job to call CPS if we suspect that there is a situation when children are being put in harm’s way.  It is not our job to investigate the situation and make the determination if, in fact, these children are at risk for abuse, neglect, or even death.  It is solely our job to make the phone call.  

Understanding why your abuser does what they do can be extremely helpful in the initial stages of the healing process.  You can see the patterns of behaviors to gain and maintain power and control and start to challenge the effects of gaslighting, learning that you are not crazy.  Your experiences are real.  This psycho education is also helpful in managing the effects of post separation abuse.  Understanding the tactics your abuser will use when going to family court or how they will use your children to continue abuse can also help you prepare and stay resilient.
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There is also a time when focusing on the mind of your abuser can lead you down the crazy making rabbit hole. 

Do they really believe the s#*% that comes out of their mouths? 
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How can they continue the lies when the evidence is stacked up against them that proves they are lying?

Do they truly believe that no one can touch them?  That they are invincible?