By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS
Understanding why your abuser does what they do can be extremely helpful in the initial stages of the healing process. You can see the patterns of behaviors to gain and maintain power and control and start to challenge the effects of gaslighting, learning that you are not crazy. Your experiences are real. This psycho education is also helpful in managing the effects of post separation abuse. Understanding the tactics your abuser will use when going to family court or how they will use your children to continue abuse can also help you prepare and stay resilient.
There is also a time when focusing on the mind of your abuser can lead you down the crazy making rabbit hole.
Do they really believe the s#*% that comes out of their mouths?
How can they continue the lies when the evidence is stacked up against them that proves they are lying?
Do they truly believe that no one can touch them? That they are invincible?